Bleehhh.

My world
is currently uneventful.

How exciting.
So here's an adorable kitteh. Isn't it cute? Why yes, that is a Mewtwo it is holding.

Last Stand of 2009.

1. What did you think of 2009?

2009 was really bittersweet. The year started out with some cutting drama at school, which was depressing, followed by me finding someone I truly couldn't live without. There's been some ups and downs with relationships with almost everyone I know. I feel like I've grown up. I feel mature. And I feel fragile.

2. What do you think was the news story of the year?

Hm. Teen Commits Suicide From 'Sexting' 

3. What happened this year that you never want to hear another word about?

Jon and Kate Gosselin. They need to take their shit away from the public.

4. What was your favorite song of 2009?

There's a lot. I'm such a music addict. "These Words" by Natasha Bedingfield.

5. What did you accomplish this year?

I developed a healthy relationship. I got into Algebra 1 Honors. Not much, really.

6. Did you learn anything new this year?


If someone breaks my heart, I go into this weird depressed cycle. I won't talk about it, I won't try to tell them what they just did is wrong, and is killing me. I shut my mouth, and either sleep alot or don't sleep at all. I don't eat much. I think about what I tell them next, because I'm terrified afraid of regrets.

I also learned I'm a good liar when it comes to talking to people at school. I can make up stories on the spot and make them sound realistic. My friends don't know who I am. I don't know who I am.

7. What are you looking forward to in the new year?

Starting over.
 8. What are your plans for New Year's Eve?

Party at my place.
9. What's the best thing you ever did on a New Year's Eve?


I'm 13. I haven't done that many New Year's. Maybe this year will be a good one.

Well That's Finally Over.

Christmas. Is. Over.

Hallelujah.

My Christmas was boring, if you ask me, which you didn't. I fell asleep at 2 am the night before.. My sister woke me up at 7 to open presents. I got about 20 shirts that I really, really don't want, a gumball machine, shirt designing thingies, an electric blanket, money, and a giant teddy bear. My sister got everything she wanted.

I guess since she's younger than me, she gets some priority I don't understand. She's the baby of the family, so I feel like I don't belong. Jealous? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Last night was the first time I got to sit next to my mom and dad, just us, in a long time. I feel like she's stealing these things away from me.

But I guess she's my little sister.. When my mom found out she was pregnant, I was warned I had to make sacfrifices. They told me, "Ohhh! You're going to be a big sister now! Are you excited?" Of course I was. Little sister meant innocent, adorable Michelle from Full House. I was six. I didn't know it meant insecurity.

I'm not saying I don't want my sister. I'm saying I want my parents back.

Things I wish I would've gotten for Christmas:

A cell phone. Is that so hard to ask.. ? Pantech Matrix. Or Samsung Propel.
Books.
Nothing clothing related, please. I usually won't wear what you give me.
Starbucks gift card.
A kitten.
A dog. (Yorkies ♥)
A bunny.
A hamster.
Nail polish.

So,

Holiday songs are gone, holiday sales are up, and I actually have money to compulsively waste. Next is New Years, so partypartyparty. I think the next few days won't be miserable.

Mr. Lance & the Sunnyside.

I got home today from my mom's work Christmas party (bleh)
.. and I see this!

A follower.. !! I squealed. Kinda loud. I mean, this blog is only a couple days old and I have a follower. I know I'm overeacting. Just so damn happy.

Thanks, Mr. Lance, for being my first follower. You get your name on the title of a post. Rejoice now.

Anyways;
I also found this while trying to Google my blog (HA). Turns out there is a Sunnyside, Florida. I assure you, I do not live there. No stalking, please.

The Most Annoying Christmas Meme Ever (Fruitcakes Abound!)

1. What is the most annoying Christmas song?


Hm. All of them.



2. Name one annoying thing that happens to you each time you get together with your family during the holidays.


Whenever someone forgets to bring root beer, duh.



3. What is eggnog? Think about it. Does anybody really know?


I would say, but that's a little inappropriate.



4. Don't take this personally but there are lots of fruitcakes walking around. Have you encountered any real live nuts lately?

I didn't know fruitcakes could walk, haha. Live nuts? Yeah, me.

5. Why were the nine Lords a'leaping in those annoying tights???!

It's pretty obvious they're trying to impress the 8 maids a-milking.

6. What is the most annoying Christmas gift you've ever received?

Pajamaspajamaspajamas.


What did you do with it??

They're still in my closet. I use them to dust my room.

7. Let's admit it: Christmas, with all its splendor and goodwill, can also be a pain in the royal patootie. How do you plan to circumvent annoyances this year and enjoy the season?

What the hell is circumvating? Assuming it means 'avoid', I'm gonna stock up on Hershey Kisses, apple juice, and chips and hide in my room with my laptop. Muahaha.

What am I..

..so scared of  ?

So what if I'm having a few moodswings a day;
So what if my dad is angry;
So what if I'm afraid of going outside my bedroom because of my dad;
So what if I'm insecure about myself.

It's not like anyone really gives a shit.

Immature Photography.

Got bored. That's me.

Paranoid.

Moooodswing.

Fucking paranoid. He won't pick up his phone. We haven't talked in 3 days because of the lock-in. I know I should totally just brush this off.. but I can't. I want to cry and scream and lock myself into  a closet. I don't know what's wrong with me. I hate this.

And this happens all the time. Not just phone calls; even the slightest form of rejection will completely ruin my mood. I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why. I wonder if I have some underlying mental condition. I wonder why he won't pick up his phone. I wonder if he'll ever realize what I'm going through.

I wonder if he will ever read this, and actually care.

I wonder if anyone will ever read this, and actually care.

White Christmas.

Saturday meme on Sunday.. !!

1. If you live where you get winter weather, do you prefer your Christmas to be white? If you never see snow, do you wish for it?

Florida doesn't get snow. We get frost and artificial snow (Dandruff? Um, no). Yes, I want snow because it has always been my dream for my snowman to mysteriously come to life and then debut in a holiday family movie.

2. How many holiday cards did you receive from people you hadn't sent cards to, after the "mailing deadline?" Did you send a card anyway?

.. There's a deadline?

3. When the clock strikes Midnight on New Year's, will you be at home, at a party, or somewhere else?

I'll be in the shower, singing along to 93.3's Awesome 80s Weekend. Whether that shower is at home or at a party is unknown.

 4. Have you ever taken the keys and driven home a friend that you felt was too drunk to drive? If not, do you think you would attempt to if that situation ever arose?

I'm 13. I don't drive. I can barely handle shopping carts at Wal-Mart.

5. Tell us about a gift that you either bought or made for someone else that you wanted for yourself!

... I haven't bought any gifts yet. Or made any. (Procrasinating.)

6. What chores do you have left for the holidays?

Bother someone, randomly email someone, shopping, gotta buy a dress, mooch of of someone's plate, wasting money on useless and slightly entertaining things.. (Endless bubble wrap at Toys R Us!)

7. If you could buy one gift for yourself where money was not an obstacle, what would it be?

Ohmygosh. I'd buy a couple thousand lottery tickets for my mom. If we didn't win, I'm suing for false advertisement and inaccurate statistics. Do those count as two things?

8. What is one of your family’s favorite holiday traditions?

Ewww, tradition.

9. If you could give a fellow blogger a holiday gift, which would it be and what would you give them?

I'd give BPDinOKC a hug. And maybe some peace.

Unholy.

On Friday I went to a lock-in with my church. I would imagine, since it's a church, people would at least hold back on some things..
Apparently not.

AH HAAHH. There was flirting, cussing, "F U"s, fighting, and talk about sex. And flirting. People started having shots with soda. Around 3 am, we ran out of soda, ramen, and anything that had caffeine. At 6 we crashed, then had to get up at 7. I love 13 hour long parties.

Things I Learned;

Something that really struck me as interesting was our 5 second talk about why suicide is bad. Ms. Gina said it was because it's God's decision of when you die, not yours. And if you commit suicide, you go to hell because you interfered with God's plan for you.. or something like that.
Did I mention I was suicidal a few times before..? Woops. Well yeah, Ms. Gina's talk really inspired me to not ever think anything like that again.
Now I'm not a seriously religious person, but I'd rather not go to hell. I mean, life sucks, and everyone knows it, but I won't burn for a quick way out. I've been considering joining the bible study/youth group because of that. I feel like a good person, inching my way out of unholyness.

The Unofficial, The Unwanted, The Annoying.

Unofficially,

I give up on being all negative, if I can help it. I mean, it's so difficult to stay sane and shit when you're in middle school. Hormones and things I just can't control. Things I wish I didn't have to live with. Like, "Celina! I know who likes you.. !" I don't need anyone liking me. I don't need anyone trying to get me in bed with them. I don't need it.

I decided procrasinating is a very, very bad thing to do. This will not get me far in life, I realized, and I seriously need to stop. (Note: This doesn't mean I will stop. Just that I realized I have awful habits.Haha.)

The Unwanted

Christmas shopping - Really? Like I want spend a day shopping for unnecessary things to impress people I don't even like. I could totally spend my time doing better things.. like drawing pictures on the fog that gets on the mirror from showering. Or naming babies.

The Stupid - "When's the 6 o'clock concert?" Fail. Also, the school giving us a snack bar with Doritos, pretzels swimming in lard, ice cream that has no trace of milk, and unaturally orange nacho cheeze. Along with that lovely feast, chocolate milk that isn't really that brown (..so what's the brown stuff?). The School Board's Question of the Year: Why are our children obese? Epic fail.

School Band Concerts (!!!) - Okay. The shocking truth is, (sorry band people) no one will willingly go to your concerts. No one likes watching people play songs they don't like, don't recognize. The only reason people go to your concerts is because they're your parents, and you need a ride home when your done with your pathetic squak called music. In this generation, we have cell phones and iPods and bendy straws which is no match for your weak attempt at entertainment.

Oh, if I didn't mention, I'm with the band. ♥

The Annoying

Bitches c: - I hate those people who are so sure of everything. I understand confidence, but "No, I'm right because I'm always right. Just go my way." gets on my nerves.


.. Looks like my NoBeingNegative thing just expired.

Um, No.

Yesterday- So my friend Morganne says to me, "Wanna hear a joke?"

Me:
Morganne: There's two elephants in a bathtub. One's named ----tis and the other one Clyde. Clyde says--
Me: Wait, what's the elephant's name?
Morganne: Cleetis and Clyde.
Me: (dotdotdot.)
Morganne: Cleetis says to Clyde, "Hand me the soap." Clyde says, "What do I look like, a radio?"
Me:
Morganne: Do you get it? It's really funny.
Me:
Morganne: You don't get it..

So I spent the rest of the day wondering what the hell two elephants were doing in a bathtub. How did they get in there anyway? Why were they talking? And most importantly, what kind of soap were they using? Liquid? Bar? Dove? Ivory?

Today she told everyone why it was so funny, and of course I was last. There was no punchline. It was just to make me stay up at two in the morning thinking about elephants handing eachother UnknownBrand Soap. Thanks, Morganne. I love you too.